The Clicker Experiment (my favorite post of the year)

A few weeks ago I went to Time Out for Women.  Hilary Weeks was one of the speakers/singers at the conference.  She had heard that on average most people think about 300 negative thoughts a day.  So, in a nut shell, she tried an experiment to see if that was true.  She bought a clicker and clicked away all week for every negative thought.  She became very sad and depressed and she couldn't figure out why.  She realized it was because she was giving her negative thoughts so much attention.  So, she reversed the experiment and counted her positive thoughts and her mood completely changed (see her version of the story below the pictures).

SO...............I decided to try that experiment with my own family.  I gave a Family Home Evening Lesson on the power of our thoughts and I bought each member of my family their own clicker.  I asked them to take it with them all day and see how many positive clicks they could get.  Chad was a little worried that it would be a distraction at school, but they each put it in a secret pocket.  I covered each of the number counters with tape so that they couldn't see how many clicks they were getting.  After dinner the next day, we had an unveiling and we each uncovered our numbers.  We couldn't believe how many positive thoughts we had from the time that we woke up until after dinner.  Here are our results:

Chad:  293 Positive Clicks (and that was during a rough day at work)

Michele: 362 Positive Clicks

Brady:  375 Positive Clicks (and he is in Middle School :)

Anthony:  351 Positive Clicks

Brynn:  397 Positive Clicks (this is coming from a girl who severely dislikes school in general)

Cate:  293 Positive Clicks (when we peeled her tape back, it actually said 2,293 but we figured she probably messed with the reset button)

That equals 2003 positive thoughts in one day.

 WHAT DID I LEARN?

1.   My little first grader (Brynn) had one of her best days at school because she was trying to look for the positive instead of focusing on the negative.

2.  Brady said it forced him to look at the bright side of things.

3.  Most of my clicks were when my family was around me.

4.  I clicked every time I heard my children laugh or thought about Chad.

5.  I especially loved hearing my children "click" and paying attention to what they were clicking for.  When Brady came into my room in the morning and laid by me, I rubbed his back and told him how great he was.  I heard click-click-click.  When I told Cate that she could take something to preschool that she wanted, I heard a click.  When I complimented Brynn on her outfit or Anthony on his homework, I heard click-click.  It made me realize that our kids internalize everything we say........positive or negative.

6.  I have the power to control my thoughts and attitude.

7.  I literally couldn't think of negative things when I was constantly focusing on the positive.

8.  Most of the things I clicked about couldn't be bought with money.

9.  Our home was happier when we ALL were focusing on the good.

10.  I clicked for simple things that I don't normally pay attention to.  I clicked for things like:

A pretty tree outside my window

Chocolate (lots of clicks)

David Archuleta serving a mission

A washer to wash my clothes instead of on a rock like when I was on my mission

Hope and the Atonement

Kind people at the grocery store holding a door open for me

Family and friends (each one I thought of got a click)

Clean air and sunshine

Christmas songs

Great teachers

Toilet paper

Funny people

The Post Office

and the list went on and on about 362 times.

The Clickers

HERE ARE SOME THOUGHTS FROM HILARY WEEKS' JOURNAL:

"I’ve been thinking about thoughts for quite a while…not days…not months…a few years now.

Last December at our ward Relief Society Christmas dinner the guest speaker said that on average people think 300 negative thougths a day.

Is that true?  I had to find out for myself.  I bought a clicker.  You know, one of those hand-held counters they use at ball games and carnivals.  I went online and bought the happiest color I could find…yellow.  (If one is going to focus on the negative, it should be as pleasant as possible.)  And…I started counting.

DAY ONE

I announced the experiment to my family informing them why I had a “clicker” fastened to my arm/wrist, in my pocket, in my purse or sitting on the counter next to me.   That morning, while driving the kids to school, I set the clicker on the panel in between the two front seats.  Meg (9) picked it up and looked at how many clicks I had.

“Eight!!??”  She gasped.  “Whoa!  That is a lot!  You have eight already!?”

I picked up the clicker…(Click.)

I decided to cover the numbers with masking tape so I couldn’t see how many I was accumulating throughout the day.  They said 300 negative thoughts per day…I didn’t want to fall behind!  I’m no slacker.  So, in order to prevent myself from peeking and interferring with the accuracy (ha ha) of the test, I covered it up.

By the end of the day…I had racked up 124 clicks.   A good portion of the clicks can be attributed to our puppy (9 months), Emmie.  (Click.)  I still don’t want a dog.  (Click.)  Occasionally, I found it annoying to have the clicker on my wrist.  (Click.)  There was a variety of “clicking” reasons.

DAY TWO

Today’s clicking surprised me.  145 total…that I recognized and “gave myself credit for.”  I’m certain that there were many negative thoughts that didn’t get clicked each day.  (I didn’t say it was scientific…I just said it was an experiment.)

The thing that surprised me about the negative thoughts today was that most of them happened while Tim and I were on date night.  Weird?  Kind of…but kind of not…here’s what I realized.  When I go on that much needed date night – that break during the week from the kids and cares of homemaking – I let down.  I complain.  I whine.  I tell Tim everything that’s wrong.  “The kids drove me nuts today.” (Click) “I’m having a bad hair day.” (Click)  “The house is a mess.”  (Click)  “I didn’t get a minute to myself.” (Click)  “I stubbed my toe on the kitchen table.”  (Click, click)  “My visiting teachers didn’t show up.” (Click.)  Emmie chewed up a sock. (Click, click, clickety, click.)

Is that fun for a husband to hear?  Wouldn’t he rather spend date night with a positive thinker?  I had no idea I was doing that.  It had never even occurred to me.  It was a good eye opener.

Then,  we went to a movie.  It was PG-13, but I guess that isn’t saying much these days.  I clicked.  A. Lot.

DAY THREE  – 98 clicks

DAY FOUR  – 92 clicks

DAY FIVE – 57 clicks (I don’t remember why the number was so low…maybe I took a nap or ate ice cream.  Either will cut down on negativity.)

DAY SIX  – 141 clicks

Why a spike in the clicks?  I watched myself on a video I had filmed for my children’s charter school.  I had filmed a short question and answer interview and at the Jr. High orientation I saw it.  I was so embarrassed about how I looked.  Everything that I don’t like about my face seemed magnified a hundred and seven times on that screen.  I couldn’t quit clicking.  It was a click-fest.  If I don’t ever see myself on video again for the rest of my life…it will be too soon.

After almost a week of clicking, I woke up one morning and felt really, really down.  I was outright depressed.  I felt sad and discouraged – and I had absolutely no reason to feel that way.  Then it dawned on me…  It was the experiment.  By simply “clicking” the negative thoughts I was giving them enough attention and consequently enough power to effect my mood.  John Kehoe, author of Mind Power said, “Although a single unaided thought hasn’t much power, through repetition the thought can become concentrated and directed, and its force can be magnified many times.  The more the thought is repeated the more energy and power it generates, and the more readily it is able to manifest itself.”

Unexpected.  Truly.  I had no idea that paying even the slightest bit of attention to those negative thoughts could have that kind of effect on me.  It wasn’t as if I dwelled on them once they came into my mind – NO, not at all.  I actually tried to chase them away.  But the click.  The click acknowledged them enough to give the negative thoughts the ability to change my mood and outlook.

So…I decided to go a new direction with my experiment.  And that will be part II.

I was really surprised by the effect that simple, tiny act of “clicking” each negative thought had on my mood.   I guess that is why King Benjamin told us in the Book of Mormon to “watch ourselves and our thoughts.”  And maybe that is why we are told in the Doctrine and Covenants to “let virtue (or power) garnish our thoughts unceasingly.”

President Spencer W. Kimball said, “How could a person possibly become what he is not thinking?  Nor is any thought, when persistently entertained, too small to have its effect.  The divinity that shapes our ends is indeed in ourselves.”

So I switched.  I quit counting negative thoughts and started counting the positive thoughts.  It was SO. MUCH. BETTER.

Brigham Young said, “The greatest mystery a man ever learned, is to know how to control the human mind, and bring every faculty and power of the same in subjection to Jesus Christ.  This is the greatest mystery we have to learn while in these tabernacles of clay.”